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national | politics / elections | opinion/analysis Sunday April 29, 2007 16:49 by Poodle
I would appreciate the sarcasm if I were you
The best speech in the house of eunuchs, otherwise known as the Dail
The Government collapsed on June the second of last year and what an unprincpled
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The election posters went up this morning and afternoon.
You can tell who can afford a car and a staff by the amount of posters and their
position on the lamp-posts.
In Rathmines Jim O Callaghan was first off the blocks, followed by Lucinda Creighton.
Michael Mulcahy is all over Christ church and Aenghus O Snodaigh's are only going up
now at the Guinness Brewery.
Is there a rule about size?
Cos some of them are so big there is no room for Five/six candidates on the lamp-posts.
O well- Four weeks of looking at the plucked brows, the fake tans, the rose lighting,
the cheap suits and the stitched on smiles.
Will someone give me a pass into the count-centre?
[Its still pen and paper :-)]
Michael Mc Dowell's Posters aren't up yet and Mary Lou got above Bertie.
In Kerry North Martin Ferris and the Greens have had posters up for over a month.. wasn't there something about a 50 Euro fine per poster displayed before a fortnight before the Election.. oh sorry of course .. His daughter runs the council so thats ok then! Has any candidate been fined by their local council to date.. I think not
Much of the fighting in Clare and Limerick will be seen within the major political parties in the Midwest region. Poster went up all over Limerick City last weekend exposing the divisions in the Fianna Fail camp. O'Dea's and Powers official party posters were the first to go up each calling for the number your 1&2 vote respectively and third for the beleaguered FF female candidate Noreen Ryan.
Frustrated with the strokes and secret meeting by the old boy club that is the Limerick Cumann of FF Ryans' posters omit the names but calls for your number 1 and to vote for her colleges. Party hacks have threatened to pull down her posters. Obviously Ryan is refusing to play the game and won’t settle just being a paper candidate to pull in Limerick's Ladies votes make ensuring the alpha males are returned to the big house in Dublin.
Sinn Feins’ Morris Quilivan and one time leader of Fianna Gael’s Michael Noonan were quick to take their cue from those in the know. Risking the rath of the councils litter patrol they filled what was left of the available space on the city centre lamp posts.
Clare seen the election poster campaign at the start of the week with FG maverick Tony Mulcahy's and poll topper Timmy Dooley's posters both starting to appear starting to appear.
Obviously these two have the biggest war chests and both seem to have the hunger for a seat in. The soles of Dooley’s brothel creepers must be well worn down. The east Clare man has been canvassing through the length and breath of the county. The party’s carve up of the county has his running mates concerned that there may only be one FF seat after the election.
Minister Tony Killeen has shot back with shock tactics informing the local rags that this strategy may leave the county with out a minister. In a desperate attempt to secure more votes Killeen’s office has sent letters to the murders and paedophiles of the county. For the first time Irish citizens in Irish prisons will be able to vote in a general election
Mulcahy has two vans driving the around the county with himself superimposed on the sides. Either canvassing is great for the constitution or Tony is fond of the air brush as this well rounded politician appears to have downsized to fit into his photo shoots. Tony who hails not too far from Killnakcully country has come up with one of the catchiest slogans in the Midwest region. Mulcahy says “Not all politicians are the same”. Before you disagree with him remember that not all candidates can afford to pack conventions with newly registered members to put them on the ticket.
This trickery at the convention was no surprise to the old boys who created a third place for the golden boy Joe Carey. The party’s’ favourite was not going to lose out to chance. Pat Breen the sitting TD sat quietly confident as Madeline Taylor Quinn pulled out the forth ace. How could the party forget her poor run in the European elections? With a letter from Enda Kenny that guaranteed her a ticket it seems that all the Fianna Gael hopefuls would be winners.
Now that as Bertie might say we have d-day it looks like politics might eat itself in the Midwest.
FF have pledged millions to investigate and create gender balance but the
issue of selection usually comes down to the chamber of commerce or the
GAA goldies.There have been very few women selected to run by the Greens and FF.
FG have a raft of women candidates but they don't seem to profile.
An unnamed Green councillor took on the Dublin City Council and FF's
propensity to have it's Ministers and the Lord Mayor Photographed with
Models from a well- known agency.
Government Ministers who have upped the viagra quota include Dermott Ahern who was
photographed in recent years in a figure hugging wet suit; and two girlies.
Dick Roche who had two blondes on his arm outside the Pepper pots which used
be Wood Quay and Vincent Jackson in an eco-taxi with a babe.
So the arm candy quota will be rivalling the sword fight where two middle aged
men are being pushed by the mee-dea into a battle Royale when everyone knows
that the outcome will be either an Island alliance with the Blairites (with a
Fetished Republican emphasis) or a Pro-Nato EU army love -in with Angela
Merckel Clucking at Enda whilst balancing her Budget with the projected 2015
Transnational trade and food pact with the US.
Some of the papers this morning have Enda and Bertie's head superimposed
onto boxer's bodies, this is to convince us that the testosterone is all there.
Baby kissing photos will be out and the emphasis will no doubt be on 'virility.
(jayzhus -save us from the three weeks of hell that we have to endure)
The Kids are thinking of going on the street to publicise their lack of school
facilities and sports hall. And Someone selected Frank Mc Namara for the PD's
(last seen tiddling the ivories on the late late show) . Apparently the radio
interview where Mr Mc Namara illustrated his lack of knowledge of his
constituency boundaries gave the locals a great laugh. (plummy photo btw)
...and get the calculators out.
as always quick with the boot into the bastards.
how obscene the morning of investigation into fianancial political courruption
Ahern scurries to Phoenix Pk. we are then told that there would be no tribunal until May 28.
Harney moans on Pat Kenny about how she was been accused of political favours and only got apology before polling day. during the last general elections which could have done damage to her reputation. carreer
this is a MInister who has very wealthy friends in South of France. who are tax evaders
he uses helicopter to open pubs. who wants Americanised health care.
whos salary was over 200-50,000 last year.
poodles pissing Joe
the problem with the bastards, they are to long in the Dail, over-payed stubborn
get rid of them
vote class conscious candidates vote left.
I don't if it will help voters know, but I was enjoying a long weekend over here in my home Barcelona and by just before noon had received no less than five telephone messages informing of Bertie Ahern's near coup d'etat like sneakiness. Of course I knew before hand what was expected to be announced to the general public as the schedule of historic photo opportunites and benchmarks for May 2007. I've tried to sum it up as "reclaim drogheda". But I, rather like a certain minister couldn't say a word to anyone. Oh - the putting it all together and not being able to say "boo!" really got me biting my toenails to the quick. Yet somehow by the grace of angels I kept the secret.
No-one can deny the immediate surfacing of misleading and close to psy-op news by the Washington Times of a general election in Northern Ireland did not have effect, as the breadth and length of the country people scrambled to identify their candidates. RTE had the shite put up them to such an extent that their normally tippy toppy copywriters included two (not just one) spelling and syntax error in their newscast. Other commercial media organisations ran to talk of the a Dail which had run the longest, a President who has disappeared to the USA, and some mention of 33.
There are 43 constituencies.
There are 166 seats.
You must now familiarise yourselves with the candidates. All of them. But only the ones who actually are taking part. Prepare questions for them as they doubtless arrive in orderly yet impatient and ingratiatingly servile fashion at your portals. My advice to you is to approach this not as a campus shooting, flooding, plague, summit mobilisation, coup d'etat or Al Qaeda attack (all of which we have discussed before during this excessively long Dail 5 years) but rather as annoying zealous cult profligator.
Are you alpha female/male?
2 possible answers : Yes I am alpha female/male or No I am not alpha female/male.
Next question (if your faith in the liberal social democratic structure and selection process is still up to humouring the farce)
who is the alpha female/male?
I assure you - many of our readers and just a few of our very regular contributors, commentators and ocassional trolls are going to be in government with salaries and privileges (cursing in the house) within a very short time. Some of our readers and many of our very regular contributors are thus rightly concerned that our anarchistic disdain for this utterly crap process be sidelined by the insecurities of our comrades & friends who at this time must pretend they are @ least beta females and males. Best of luck to ye all. But never forget until you understand anarchists you're not really getting far in politics.
Anarchists & Non Voters of the Eire State!
Do not feed their egos. No matter what the result is, the government will win & the regime be reassured. Whatever is wrong, wicked, evil and flawed in our society today will be so come July.
Don't let them get the run of themselves or take a single vote or "non-vote" for granted.
I believe that Marxism is not the best forward in Ireland. However, I have good cause to fear that my contribution will be quickly censored here.
Why not allow free, democratic debate? What are ye afraid of?
The term 'pissing poodles' regarding the ascent of Minister Mc Dowell up the lamp-post
to provide the Irish people with a 'watchdog' was coined by Joe Higgins during the debate
over the Mahon Revelations last year.
Yesterday the media (particularly the Irish Times) made significant reference to
the whole doggy business in relation to the debacle at Ranelagh triangle, where a
convergence happened to prevent a replay of the stunt.
Gormley confronted Mc Dowell and Creighton climbed the post instead.
The live feed from Newstalk 106 was hilarious and very undignified.
Coining visual phrases is not unknown in this city, and Higgins will probably
retain the root of the association with the 'lampostgate' incident.
One popular one is 'suffering ducks' which many people use in lieu of swearing,
it refers to a band that used play in St Stephen's Green and their repetoire
(of brass) which caused the poor ducks to suffer.
The media is now asking if a major front-bencher inhaled in college.
The description of lamp-postgate is in the Irish Times on page 11.
Before I go and cast my vote for the brave new world of a globalised Ireland, with a buckled
and ineffective health system I would like to say this:-
What precisely have the substantive issues been in this campaign, because none of them
reflect my concern for the health and well being of my children, none of them have discussed
the right of girls and women to equal representation and for issues pertinent to us who
comprise half the demographic to be discussed and aired in a mature fashion?
I have sat and listened to waffle and crap and endless spiel on 'econmic factors', sound-bites about wealth
creation:- to me, my wealth is the next generation and their needs.
1. Their rights in the Irish Constitution to safety , education and healthcare.
2. Their right to a good education and quality of life.
3. Their right to their heritage.
4. We are to lose three hospitals in the area between the city centre and tallaght
including Crumlin Children's hospital. I daily look at poverty in my daughter's school
The present political system holds the womens advocates and NGO's outside
of the decision-making process.
Not one political party has come close to the idea of basic rights to freedoms
of expression, association and religious assembly. and yet a mass of
badly worded and vaguley literate crap is posted daily through my door.
The 24 hour embargo on election reporting does not apply to Indymedia. In fact it doesnt apply to the print media either. Afaiaa it applies to RTE and possibly to other broadcasting organisations.
So: post away!
crap legislation 2002-2006:-
The HousingBill(Miscelleaneous Provisions)2002- is a developers mandate, it is known
as the 'Trespass Law'- it is used to proliferate middle class property rights and
to mitigate against indigenous and community protest.
The Arts Act 2003- This Bill by the Minister for 'Art and Sport' (see the priorities of FF?)
ties the arts to the stste for the first time since the De Valera era- you may read about
DeV's art policy in 'Modern Irish Art' by Bruce Arnold, he was phone-tapped during
a previous FF administration. The Friends of Irish Art including Mainie Jellet and Evie
Hone (and Yeats) brought art to ireland, through bequest and personal fund-raising.
The National Monuments Act (2004) gives dickheads the right to demolish our
heritae within 28 sitting days of the Oireachtas.
The Criminal Law (Sexual Offences Bill) 2006- Gives the state unwarranted interference
in the privacy of our kids, whilst allowing serial sex offenders freedom and refuses
to issue child protection legislation due to inherent distrust of 'women's sexuality'
The SIB- again legislates for the developer , but leaves out Poolbeg incinerator
cos its in the nimby's backyard.
and of course:- The complete inability of the state to deal with the issues of globalisation
in any shape or form in the last nine years of it's tenure.
Look at the portfolio creation by the next government , it indicates 'direction'
Heritage was dropped for 12 months.
Art was conjoined with sport.
Justice and Law reform is imperative
but gender and equality and children's rights belong together.
Health should be alone.
These changes were made by an Taoiseach at his assumption to power .
The 1990 Industrial Relations Act
The Criminal Law 2007 act. the money needed for rights such as victim support and
trauma units for victims of serial sex abuse is going into a data bank that affects rights.