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Cedar Lounge
For lefties too stubborn to quit

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Human Rights in Ireland
www.humanrights.ie

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Human Rights in Ireland >>

NAMA Wine Lake

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MediaBite
A shot at bias in the media

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offsite link Blessed with nothing but good intentions Fri Feb 22, 2013 18:04

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offsite link The web's political rainbow Wed Dec 07, 2011 09:47

offsite link The Forgotten Constituency: The Majority and The Irish Economic Crisis Fri Mar 11, 2011 11:49

MediaBite >>

Nuns help find G spot.

category international | sci-tech | other press author Friday September 01, 2006 14:50author by sofia Report this post to the editors

Vincent Paquette & Mario Beauregard are tippy toppy scientists based in Canada who have built their reputation scanning happy brains. Meaning, they have paid their mortage, put their kids through school, gone on holidays & generally got on with it all thanks to ample government & some small corporate funding. During which they've selected small groups of "happy individuals" & put them through brain scans to discover what really kicks that happiness switch".

Having had wonderful results on their neural scans of men at orgasm they have now recruited no less than 15 Carmelite nuns (who belong to the order founded by the very happy Teresa in today's illustration) to go through functional magnetic resonance whislt they remember the most intense.....

St. Teresa in ecstatic contemplation of the divine mysteries
St. Teresa in ecstatic contemplation of the divine mysteries

"mystical experience they have ever had".

Thus will this team of scientists discover the G spot that point of the brain where God does it firing off the synapses & cranking up the seretonin & dopameine.

It is conceivable that location of the "God spot" ( the other g spot is a myth - yes it is. ) will allow pharmaceutical corporations to sell us "divine ecstasy" drugs within 20 years.

For the moment I'll stick with the snowball.

time for a recipe.

take one street deal of smack and one street deal of cocaine. Dilute the smack with distilled water ( non flouridated ) and a small quantity of lemon juice. Heat & pass through a filter - if you're household is on a low lab budget - you might like to use a cigarette filter. But make sure you didn't smoke the cig first. We need a filter not a rank dirty butt. Once your smack has dissolved, your resolve & patience & self control will be tested. Because I'm not telling you to shoot it up. Oh No! not a bit of it. (disclaimer) Let it return to powder form slowly and naturally in a dry environment & we will consider the "impurities removed". This may take a few weeks. Remember its poaching season at the moment, you might like to leave your smack todry out near any game bird such as a pheasant, partridge or quail. AS soon as the game is ready - your smack will be dry.
Allowing you to prepare your cocaine, purification of cocaine is actually quite a difficult thing to do - so ask your dealer for a certificate of quality & if s/he resists such consumer valour - threaten to kneecap them or shop them up to the local black & tan station.

Mix one equal part of purified smack with one part of dodgey cocaine.

Using a clean bank note. (you might like to put it through the washing machine first) sufflate said substance. (sniff or snort for the streetwise youngsters amongst you who use such colourful language).

I can't overstate the importance of fresh & clean ingredients. I'd also like to squeeze in another disclaimer . Give yourself at least 3 minutes after sufflation till you decide "nothing is happening". Allow at least a few hours before you top up your hit.
Remember the first syptoms of overdose on "snowballs" or "Heroin & Cocaine" combinations are easily confused with the joy & pleasure such things bring.

yes! you will feel the closeness of God.
Yes! you will feel just like Jesus' son or daughter.
Yes! you might just fall over with an exploding heart.
Don't blame me.

(heroin is a registered trademark)

Related Link: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,1860786,00.html
author by yokelpublication date Fri Sep 01, 2006 15:02Report this post to the editors

but that's the thing with drug culture. People can't agree on the terminology.

The proper verb of course for snoring is "insufflate"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speedball_%28drug%29

The good doctors of Montreal University are quick to point out that the discover of nuns' G spots does not confirm or deny the presence or existance of God, merely shows us which bit of their grey matter responds to "stimulus" which may be divine or just may be biochemical. Really. honestly. it's just like that.

any questions?

author by esctasypublication date Fri Sep 01, 2006 15:15Report this post to the editors



Try some tantric methods, they last longer and are less fucked up.

also trance, with emphasis on the sacral chakra with a willing female counterpart and both can get there!!!!!!!!!!!!!

other methods are being explored.

author by curiouspublication date Fri Sep 01, 2006 16:16Report this post to the editors

You mistake me for a prude sir!

I was merely pointing out the possible contradiciton between allowing what could be construed as the consumption of a dangerous and anti-social drug, and the censoring of political views that offend left wing sensibilities. Curious, but not altogether surprising.

author by o as if = sofia = iosafpublication date Fri Sep 01, 2006 16:23Report this post to the editors

For not only is this poaching season, it's mushroom season when our far & distant pre-flouride ancestors tripped out communing with their gods & goddesses, someting which made it easier to poach the deer from the Phoenix park.

As always i'm surprised that commentators (not meaning all readers) do not deal with the obvious questions & issues in this news but rather take on the "surreal" popular cultural spin which really just spices up the "human interest" thing.

* Are nuns (carmelite or otherwise) the best scientific sample material for an assessment of divine ecstasy? Ever since the sculpture in my illustration above was carved a link was made between Teresa & her order of sisters & sublimated sexual pleasure.

Therefore we may not be too surprised that this little story has attracted very different reactions depending on what I call the "local agnostic index".

Here's some media reaction to the project :-

lucy sherriff of the register writes "Nuns have multi-point mind-link to God, say researchers Er, sort of"
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/08/30/nuns_god/

The Vancouver Sun published an un-named author article : "Oh, G, that thought feels divine"
http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/editorial/story...477c8

"Brain Scan Of Nuns Finds No Single 'God Spot' In The Brain, Study Finds" is the press release title to the scientific journals :
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/08/0608300757...8.htm

The Indian Hindu Newspaper is delighted that RC nuns don't have a G spot, a fact i deduce from the silly author name "Ian Sample" who writes of a "Brain Scan Revelation"
http://www.hindu.com/2006/08/31/stories/200608310218220...0.htm

An attitude I also detect in the Indian medical journals.
"Researchers seek to demystify brain activity during mystical encounters"
http://www.medindia.net/news/view_news_main.asp?x=13826

The Australians as we know are a very strange lot when it comes to God, of our regular contributors to indymedia ireland the cleaves lot are very anti-God & the other one is longhaired & exorcises warships (floating or flying). So no surprise that they lumped in with the "nuns have no G spot - ergo there is no God" spin- but it's a kathurlick paper http://www.cathnews.com/news/608/184.php so they're still debating Darwin.

____________________________________________________

I'm not convinced that there is a standard "mystical experience" i'd be more inclined to agree with the title of the earthtimes hippy organic food types "God resides in the soul but not in the brain" http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/8469.html

But that runs in the face of 6 of the 9 world spiritual belief systems' tradition that there is a connection between the pineal gland & divine ecstasy & I'd like you all now to consider why I included the cocktail "heroin & cocaine" in the original news piece. This research is non-scientific, socially divisive but has a potential future financial application. I'll leave ye in this splendid "other press" article with the Free Market Times "how do we see god?"
http://www.freemarketnews.com/WorldNews.asp?nid=20092

__________________________________________________
which logically leads to "how could we package & sell God?" Of course entertainment & culture have done this. touch the screen.
Send J-e-s-u-s to this mobile number, calls cost maximum 1.95$.
i'm a classical musician, perhaps more artistic than scientific, but musical analysis of Mozart which touches on the science of aucustics & mathematics does less to my brain & mind than listening to his music. A lot of which happens to be about "divine ecstasy". I'll add more later with a bonus recipe for poached venison with a magic mushroom compote side-dish. Because i'm in a generous mood.

Are nuns the best research material for the G spot?
Are nuns the best research material for the G spot?

Related Link: http://heroin.org
author by esctasypublication date Fri Sep 01, 2006 16:30Report this post to the editors


Unless you have had a nun, then ye cannot really tell can ye?

now , having a nun is difficult cos she is married to christ, thus her communing
with the bridegroom would be strictly private.

as to surveys:- they have no basis in reality. maybe you should institute one.

Some ladieez might aid you in your survey. and maybe even some nuns.

author by mushypublication date Fri Sep 01, 2006 16:53Report this post to the editors

are the best place to find em.
They have to be dried and work best in tea. though it tastes like shit.
It really does.
They are not illegal unless you happen to be in posession of em, after the drying process.
You can dry em flat on an ordinary grill.
The effect is slow and unexpectedly gentle.

They are often found in children's playgrounds too.

Now we seem to have a lot of golf courses in Ireland. it's the season. They like
cold dark soil and shadey areas.

Ten years ago, two collectors in the kerry area were chased off the Tralee
golf cousre by branch.

Plant properties and their usages can be found in homeopathic books
a lot of the remedies are being fucked with by the EU/biochemical companies.
A lot of irish homeopaths are not allowed advertise their services.

Belladonna, opiates and homeopathic doses of poisons can have beneficial
effects on griefs, depressions and conditions suh as asthma. diet comes into
it. There are campaigns running now against the biochemical pharmaceutical
industries which seek to divorce people from natural remedies for afflictions.

Twenty years is a long time to develop a drug, freely available to people who
can access this knowledge through study, communication and best of all
lots of sex.

author by Tom Painepublication date Fri Sep 01, 2006 16:56Report this post to the editors

Very good. But if you did the same article about Islam there would be absolute hysteria. You would be called a racist and an Islamophobe. If you think thats not the case then write a similar story about Islamic women who serve a religious function and be sure to include a "blasphemous" image of Allah or The Prophet.

author by scientist iosafpublication date Fri Sep 01, 2006 19:57Report this post to the editors

Of the one billion believers of Islam I guess many millions have experienced divine ecstasy and the way things are going dropped some yokes as well.

But these Canadian doctors didn't hook them up to the brain scan.
Just men at the point of ejaculation and less than 20 nuns. Why?
What does a nun remembering ( not re-living ) her most holy moment and a man at the point of squeezey concentration have in common?

What are the drugs of the future my friend?

I have to give credit for the last illustration, it's by a brazilian photo artist, I'll stick her name up later on with yet more exciting links to the 30 year old quest to synthesis both male & female brains to crypto-religious or proto-orgasmic sensation. & of course the recipe for poached venison and magic mushroom compote side dish. This inocous little "attention grabbing" piece of research is really a pointer to much more worrying things. In the mid 90's I entered a partnership to buy the import licence to the EEC for a range of choline based "smart drugs". They didn't take off, and we sold on the rights. But take it from me - the pharm-corps be they legal or illegal are forever cooking up chemical recipes based on this sort of research. & if you don't get the product your descendents will.

author by esctasypublication date Fri Sep 01, 2006 20:48Report this post to the editors



all the women in the pic are very narrow and very beautiful.

not exactly Poussin, but there's no accounting for taste is there?

That would be a personal thing- a bit like a nun and her mystic moment with the bridegroom.

(its as staged as Poussin, who constructed his lamentations from little wax figures
in stage sets, and played with them endlessly to get em just so).

author by jayzhus on crackpublication date Fri Sep 01, 2006 22:44Report this post to the editors

what in the name of the holy & satisfying G spot does the beauty or the size of the women in the last illustration have to do with a pair of doctors in Canada who brain scan men at ejaculation & nuns at prayer?

eh???

can'tr you just say "thank you iosaf that's a lovely illustration i'm using it as wallpaper on my PC from now on." or offer serious critical comments like :- "is an infernal mystical experience the same as a divine ecstatic experience?...... meaning-

"do the same things happen to brains in mortal sin as happened the bunch of Mayomen on the way back from the pub at Knock in th e19th century or Bernadette at Lourdes?.... If we can't find God's part of the brain have we ruled out tickling the divil's cortex?"

Yiz have all obviously been raised on flouridated water & thus have damaged IQ's................... Im' going to resign in my crashing down disappointment.

author by Blissful-G-Spot-Goddesspublication date Fri Sep 01, 2006 23:31Report this post to the editors

Regarding this statement:

"It is conceivable that location of the "God spot" ( the other g spot is a myth - yes it is ) will allow pharmaceutical corporations to sell us "divine ecstasy" drugs within 20 years."

Sofia love, just because you haven't found your G spot yet, don't presume to speak for the other 3 billion women on the planet ;-)

Happy exploring!

Blissful-G-Spot-Goddess

author by La Belle Dame Sans Mercipublication date Sat Sep 02, 2006 14:23Report this post to the editors


Mystic sublimination is just different to drug induced sublimation,
sofia speaks , i hope from predijice against the companies and not the
individual person.

Otherwise he has a lot to learn about women.

author by sofiapublication date Sat Sep 02, 2006 15:21Report this post to the editors

This is my last ping on this article which reports the interest in the continuing research projects of Vincent Paquette & Mario Beauregard at Montreal University. A pair of scientists who have spent the last years brain scanning volunteers from ever increasingly "weird" social groups. This is the first time their research has attracted media interest, not because of the size of the sample nor even the objective of the "sub-study" to find a point in the brain which reacts to mystical experience . The story attracts attention because somehow the idea of carmelite nuns being searched for a Gspot is titilating. At the moment we don't know what other groups of people have been tested other than ejaculating men who were analysed in their hundreds. If next week the scientists move on to brain scanning tibetan monks for a Gspot no headlines will appear. Thus this story will disappear & be forgotten quicker than it moves off the front page "other press" slot of indymedia ireland. However, a product or application of all this ongoing research will appear in the pipeline some year soon.
Thus a reminder of what new & splendid pharmaceutical tickling we've had opportunity as potential consumers in Ireland to enjoy since they first put flouride in the water.
* Viagra.
* Prozac.
* mass produced & marketed MDMA
All of which neccesitated painstaking research, pharmokinetic studies, animal tests, & both US and EU sample tests. Even in the case of MDMA i know i met & admired eric saunders, he was a genuinely respected man in both scientific and cultural circles whose tragic death meant an end to his ongoing research.Yes, life has gone a long way since the first bottle of amyl nitrate was uncorked in the back room of side street sauna in Dublin's infamous south great George's street neighbourhood in the spring of 1982. ( i wasn't there, i'm making that bit up. ireland didn't have saunas till the mid 90's)

Finally we could interestingly debate the "other G-spot" on a gender & sexuality thread. This article is "sci-tech". Does it really exist? or was it merely the suggestion of a male doctor who thanks to the lack of anatomical research lived in a time before the clitoral bed was known to connect with 4 of the vaginal muscles? Perhaps it is important, perhaps not - after all the word clitoris was a male 15th century invention a wonder of renaissance man whose ancestors didn't need a name for either bits of erectile tissue or areas of the brain.

& lastly (after the finally) do you think someone stood behind Leonardo da Vinci when he painted the original just after he had scrubbed out Mary the Magdalene & said "all the men have beards and are very good looking"? so sorry- i'm still searching for the name of the Brazilian artist who did the photograph. i can only remember her first name.

author by Monapublication date Sat Sep 02, 2006 15:41Report this post to the editors

A now deceased history of art lecturer, in Dublin loved the secret smile of the Mona Lisa.

She was Polish and got so excited about communicating the message of the painting
that she fell off the podium, (we loved her . RIP) but the secret Da Vinci Code of the
Mona Lisa was that she had (in pigeon English) ' A hot Bottom....' yes, she just laid
Leonardo and she was probably a boy. feck the Brown, the secrets are always
between the lines of the books. Metaphors for sex and death are numerous cos
we haven't found the words, but we try all the time.

author by brainy typepublication date Sat Sep 02, 2006 23:36Report this post to the editors

I want to read an article in the "gender & sexuality" section by irish feminists & whomever bothered to resection their rambling rants "on the g-spot & its existence".

Think of it as a challenge.

come on you mná! stop bitching on the global lists & educate & motivate the men of the Ireland & her diasporia. Is there really a G-spot? & on a more aesthetic note - when the photographer swapped bourgois model looking types for the 12 apostles of Da Vinci's "last supper" she also left the gap of the scrubbed Magdalene. Why isn't there a beardy sort there? did she perhaps airbrush him out? I suspect she didn't include him in her at all in her considerations of gender based cultural & vaguely political pun.

anyway. - women of ireland & indymedia. write & tell us about the ...

inquisitive male contributor & member of imc seeks answers from female contributor & member of imc.
inquisitive male contributor & member of imc seeks answers from female contributor & member of imc.

author by iosafpublication date Tue Mar 13, 2007 19:10Report this post to the editors

The movie "therese" http://www.theresemovie.com/ has been released. It promises to be a romp through the mystical experiences of Teresa but has been the object of extreme criticism by members of the RC church who are incensed that the movie's depiction of her ecstasy are too sexual .
This of course raises very old questions. Which I'm delighted to do my bit to give a bit of push up to.
Even without the added make-up the most famous depiction of Teresa in ecstasy contemplating the divine mysteries which the reader will see at the top of the page - is one of the most erotic works of sculpture in the Western canon of classical art. There are no hands - no toys - no rub a dub a dub - just that expression - which say it all. We don't even need the angel holding the arrow looking over her which is why most illustrations of the piece leave it out.

The sculpture of course was the work of Bernini (which a tiny section of our more deluded readership will know combined being a commissioned artist of the Vatican under its tyrannical and egotistical leader father matt talbot with being one of the masonic worldwide conspiracy. American contributors to "wikipedia" have got themselves into quite a sweat of late (being perhaps the most christian infiltrated of any opensource movement) arguing that Bernini as a paid up follower of Igantius of Loyola (the man who started the Jesuits and thus is responsible in some way for Michael Mc Dowell's education) had no intention of depicting "sexual pleasure". Quite. That angel with the arrow is not Eros. No. not a bit of it. Not eros not erotic. Just an angel with an arrow. that's all. Move along there nothing to see.

Anyway - I giggle at all these priests (who are avowed celibates) telling their flocks not to confuse sexual ecstasy with divine ecstasy. For after all - if they have not experienced one, & for the most part do not claim to have been graced with the other - how could they possibly know?

the movie will (if not already) be available to watch at some picture house in an Irish village near you. Make up your mind now if you wish attend - or picket "down with this sort of thing".
http://www.theresemovie.com/ & I'd like it if you enjoyed this whole article again from top to bottom. & then suitably refreshed & relaxed go back to reading the hard-core political stuff we are famed for. ;-)

author by iosafpublication date Tue Mar 13, 2007 19:19Report this post to the editors

here's the link http://imdb.com/title/tt0458500/releaseinfo the other one is teresa of liseux. French girl, little flower - didn't do ecstasy.

author by Merrimanpublication date Tue Mar 13, 2007 19:47Report this post to the editors



Inniu:- Bhi litir nua on an Phapa:-

http://www.chinapost.com/tw/latestnews/2007314/44847.htm

( Whew- Duirt an Phapa Benedict XVI inniu nach mhaith se na sagairt a
bheith ina posta no in cleamhnais. Ta a fhios agam nach mhaith leis
bean no mna , gus anois nil a lan sagairt ar fud na domhain.

Cad a tharla don an RC's? - nil mhaith leo na mna ar chor ar bith,
Ach amhain:- 'Cailin an tsagart' no 'Mhathair ', no 'bean an ti' orainn?

Nil se sin cheart ar chor ar bith- ta se mi-cheart .

Eist liom- bionn na rialacha sin mi-cheart, agus ansin nil aon 'room at the inn'
do na mna- aris agus aris.

Nil aon ghra i dogmatism- ach focail folaimh!

author by oysterlikepublication date Fri Feb 22, 2008 23:09Report this post to the editors

Western news organisations had the usual titilation filler article opportunity this week after an Italian research team at the University of L'Aquila led by Dr Emmanuele Jannini claimed to have presented a scientific method based on ultra-sound to determine whether or not women had a G-spot.
They only used 20 women in their studies which is exactly the same number of nuns who were used in the research which provoked this article by me all that time ago.

Both the BBC and Guardian picked on the news coming at it from both penetrative and non-pentrative angles..,

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7254523.stm
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/feb/21/medicalre...enews

they call that stuff science - they call this next titbit religion. The Raelian cult which brought fame to itself by faking cloned babies a few years back has announced plans to "build a hospital in the West African country of Burkina Faso, where women could come to have their clitorises "reconstructed.""

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2008/02/h...pital

Considering their background on cloned babies, and logo (a combination of the star of david and swastika) one would initially dismiss this clinic as insulting drivel to the women who have suffered genital mutilation. (c/f http://www.indymedia.ie/article/83220 ) yet the Raelians have recruited a leading trans-sexual operation & therapy surgeon Marci Bowers to help their project. It appears the same techniques which can assist in construction of penile tissue can be used to construct a "clitoris".

Whichever, the issue of not having a noodley appendage be it great or small is one we ought not ignore, nor trivialise. If the Raelians do nothing else but bring attention to issues - then we should take note.

plastic surgery takes on the clitoris
plastic surgery takes on the clitoris

Related Link: http://www.indymedia.ie/article/83220
author by Nezzerpublication date Thu Apr 10, 2008 18:59Report this post to the editors

Who is the artist that painted the 'trojan Horse' woman above?

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