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For lefties too stubborn to quit
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national | rights, freedoms and repression | opinion/analysis Thursday December 22, 2011 10:49 by black betty - santa claus appreciation society
Shell Claus the black pariah of the Claus family is out to take rather than to give. Santa's younger brother has often been compared to Lucifer the dark angel. Rather than give presents, Shell Claus comes to take away what you have and destroy it. His betrayal of the spirit of thanksgiving often brings Santa to tears. In Ireland, Shell Claws has come to visit all the houses in the Erris area, offering false gifts to seduce people, but then afterwards betraying even those who give him their trust.
Shell Claws is a master of disguise and sometimes can actually be mistaken for Santa Claus. He offers gifts, but only in the hope of taking away more and ultimately destroying what you have.
Shell Claws hates every thing in life that comes for free, as it means he can't charge for it. His work is to poison the land, the water and the air. Fresh air, clean drinking water , unpolluted soil and clean seas are what Shell Claws has come to North Mayo to take away. He has also come to take away 'peace and quiet' from this country area.
Shell Claws is also an alcoholic, if u let him into your house he will not be content with a single glass of brandy and a slice of christmas cake. He will drink all the bottles he can find and eat all your christmas cake and your plum pudding. He has even been known to shit in people's sitting rooms. Be warned. Do not entertain 'Shell Claws' or his sibling 'Sell clause'.
Shell Claws has a cigar 0.01 Mb