Gormley seeks 2 million from Petrol By-product corps for his Gum problem

Monday July 23, 2007 17:02

by o as if - "you my man are in my sights. & tis a long road to retirement from political life."

Bertie Gormley our new minister for Dublin 6W has flown his first kite (as feeble mid-week press releases aimed at popular opinion & concern are known in the trade). & what a load of sticky bollox it is too. Gormley wants to increase "on-the-spot" fines for littering from 125eu to 150eu & is considering asking the producers of Chewing Gum to increase their environmental awareness spending on proper disposal of the by-product of the petrol industry to a whopping 2 million. Oh sorry did I say "whopping"? Now let's remind ourselves that whilst Gardai monitoring Salafists at the Custom House wear bullet proof vests large companies up and down the country are illegally dumping poisonous waste removed from dubious sites. And we probably don't have the resources to reduce the gummy menace on two million alone. It's pittance. Sure a Green deputy could forget he inherited just short of that on Oil Corp shares. Lets Stamp out Gum!

obvious blight on the landscape there

Pretty much all manufacturers who count chewing gum in their portfolio of confectionary delights use the same basic recipe. It's a slight tweaking of the first US patent on the product reigstered in 1869 which you can examine here :-

http://www.google.com/patents?vid=USPAT98304&id=8qJOAAA...jtp=1

need I go on?

well maybe I should - short and concise is best - but some people insist on clear strategies and directions & platform speeches. So here's what I suggest you do - monitor all government buildings and public works for signs of the disgusting discarded gum. Send Minister Gormley a letter insisting the Government isn't doing enough to keep Mayo, Meath, Kerry, (or wherever you live) safe from the chewing gum constant misdemenour types who you could Photograph if you wanted with their gum but no proper disposal mechanism. Offer to ask them for DNA saliva swabs to prove it & suggest Minsiter Gormley budgets for the nationwide campaign which will surely follow. Together we will Stamp this out. If not stamp on it.

Then lastly make sure you put your evidence in the envelope. Send Minister Gormley the gum so he doesn't forget the wide range of support his little suggestion is generating. We already know he gets annoyed easily. & you know he doesn't have a split level home in Roscommon to get away too when we start to bake his head. Which we're going to do. I promise you.