How the Irish and "non-Irish" voted and "not voted" in the Westminster Election

national | politics / elections | news report Friday May 06, 2005 20:04 by scorchio. I went to the beach today. lovely.

for Prime Minister of Her Majesty's Govurnmunt of Engurland, Cymru, Scoaturlund and wee Ulster.

Due to a decision taken by the €uropean Union under Kaiser Wilhelm, Ireland's representation at Westminster is restricted to 18 members of parliament.

They are awarded seats which in 14 cases are geographically based
Antrim East
Antrim North
Antrim South
East Londonderry
Fermanagh South Tyrone
Foyle
Lagan Valley
Mid Ulster
Newry and Armagh
North Down
South Down
Strangford
Upper Bann
West Tyrone
And 4 others which are mindsets-
Belfast East
Belfast North
Belfast South
Belfast West

These geographical features include the top currents of a river, the Bann, one valley of the Lagan, and one complete river complete with fjord the Foyle. This is to emphasis the great diversity of Ireland, which is properly known as Eire, a socialist republic founded by James Connoly and sean Macdiarmada in 1916.

With the exception of East Londonderry which is a suburb of the borough of Fulham & Hackney, these are found east of Donegal.
The other noteworthy seat belongs to Armagh the traditional capital for Ireland's cathurliks and angikhans alike, it has however been mostly abandoned since Ireland converted to either free church presbytarianism (a "doomsday cult") and sacred site paganism (a cross disciplinary belief pattern which holds regular transport infrastructure conferences at Tara).

The leader of the "doomsday cult" has led the Irish votes for this year's 18 members of Parliament at Westminster.

His name is Ian Paisley, though of pensionably age, he still finds time to take the burden of community representation on his broad shoulders and just to prove it, he is yet again one of the few democratically elected politicians in the Western world. Even allowing for abstention, Ian big mon Paisley has won a majority of the votes and this year he got 25,156.

olé! Ian.

Others who have won seats include Mr Gerry Adams of the mindset west Belfast with 70.5% of the votes, is also one of the few democratically elected politicans in the Western world. Even allowing for abstention, Big Gerry Adams has won a majority of the votes in his constituency. This year he got 24,348.

olé Gerry

Other geographical seats which have been confirmed by the state broadcaster of Ireland, (a small island to the west of the mainland european continental landmass) Radio Telefis Eirinn, are east Londonderry (fulham and hackney) by the former Scottish nationalist party spokesperson on defence, Gregory Campbell.

UPDATE

There are at this moment two other mindset seats filled, Peter Robinson has taken east belfast with 49.1% of the votes, and 15.152, allowing for abstention he is not a legitimate democratic representative. Alisdair Mcdonnel a fellow scot, has taken the nieghbouring mindest of Belfast south with 32.3% of the votes and 10339, he has appealed for an end to tribalist djs, and a return to dub reggae with maybe a bit of goa thrown in.
He can't be a legitimate politician.

SHOCK!
Nigel Dodds, has taken belfast north, the quiet spoken former weather forecaster shocked the world a few years back when he joined the "doomsday cult". He got 45.5% of a 58.6% ballot ina gerrymandered mindset constituency which has nothing to do with the interests of the greater Valentia island region at Westminster.

Because of Kaiser Wilhelm's secret treaty, we don't know how the votes were counted, but we do know that an arcane British system was used, (this is a €uropean initiative to placate rapturishhht tendancies in the "doomsday cult" turning violent)
and that thus a "first past the post" system was used.
David Trimble a former barrista in the salt hill café del sol discotheque, had long campaigned to extend voting rights to all Irish people regardless of their telly license payment address being north of SeanCrudden's house-
has lost his seat in the upper bann constituency to "doomsday cult" member David Simpson, a well known BBC political commentator.

FOR MORE DETAILS

check the constantly updated webpages of Ireland's state broadcaster, with analytic interview with minister for westminister elections, Michael Mcdowell, an assessment on what this means for the middle east peace process by Kevin "the oik" Myers.


http://www.rte.ie/news/electionsni2005/index.html