Upcoming Events

Cork | Miscellaneous

no events match your query!

New Events

Cork

no events posted in last week

Blog Feeds

Anti-Empire

Anti-Empire

offsite link Ukraine Buys Huge Amounts of Russian Fue... Fri Jan 20, 2023 08:34 | Antonia Kotseva

offsite link Turkey Has Sent Ukraine Cluster Munition... Thu Jan 12, 2023 00:26 | Jack Detsch

offsite link New Israeli Government Promises to Talk ... Tue Jan 10, 2023 21:13 | Al Majadeen

offsite link Russia Training Iranian Pilots Ahead of ... Tue Jan 10, 2023 15:19 | The Times of Israel

offsite link Lukashenko Abolishes Copyright Protectio... Tue Jan 10, 2023 15:05 | Nikki Main

Anti-Empire >>

Human Rights in Ireland
A Blog About Human Rights

offsite link UN human rights chief calls for priority action ahead of climate summit Sat Oct 30, 2021 17:18 | Human Rights

offsite link 5 Year Anniversary Of Kem Ley?s Death Sun Jul 11, 2021 12:34 | Human Rights

offsite link Poor Living Conditions for Migrants in Southern Italy Mon Jan 18, 2021 10:14 | Human Rights

offsite link Right to Water Mon Aug 03, 2020 19:13 | Human Rights

offsite link Human Rights Fri Mar 20, 2020 16:33 | Human Rights

Human Rights in Ireland >>

Lockdown Skeptics

The Daily Sceptic

offsite link Further Evidence Gaza Casualty Numbers Are Fake Thu Mar 28, 2024 17:36 | Will Jones
The evidence that the Gaza casualty numbers from the Hamas-run Health Ministry (now over 32,000) are wildly inflated continues to mount. Mark Zlochin looks at what the proportions of male and female UNRWA workers tell us.
The post Further Evidence Gaza Casualty Numbers Are Fake appeared first on The Daily Sceptic.

offsite link Don?t Be Fooled by the ?Britain is Growing? Fairytales Thu Mar 28, 2024 15:22 | David Craig
Don't be fooled by the 'Britain is growing' fairytales, says David Craig. Any 'growth' is accounted for by the hike in the benefits bill and in civil servants' pay and a heap of other unproductive deficit spending.
The post Don’t Be Fooled by the ‘Britain is Growing’ Fairytales appeared first on The Daily Sceptic.

offsite link Climate: The Movie is a Perfect Cure for Climate Anxiety Thu Mar 28, 2024 13:00 | Toby Young
Climate Change: The Movie, the new film by Martin Durkin, should be shown at every school in the country to disabuse anxious young people of the idea that we're in the midst of a 'climate emergency'.
The post Climate: The Movie is a Perfect Cure for Climate Anxiety appeared first on The Daily Sceptic.

offsite link The WHO?s Plot to Seize Power Over Nation States in Future Pandemics Must Be Stopped Thu Mar 28, 2024 11:12 | Will Jones
The World Health Organisation is gearing up to persuade the world's governments to sign a new pandemic treaty that would allow the unelected body to seize power over nation states in future pandemics, warns Matt Ridley.
The post The WHO’s Plot to Seize Power Over Nation States in Future Pandemics Must Be Stopped appeared first on The Daily Sceptic.

offsite link Easter Quiz: Why Are White Things So White? Thu Mar 28, 2024 09:00 | Steven Tucker
It's hard to tell the difference these days between genuine news stories relating to 'anti-racist' ? or, more realistically, anti-white ? ideas and the spoofs and fakes. Pit your wits against our Easter quiz.
The post Easter Quiz: Why Are White Things So White? appeared first on The Daily Sceptic.

Lockdown Skeptics >>

Voltaire Network
Voltaire, international edition

offsite link Moscow attack reminds us of the links between Islamists and Kiev's fundamentalis... Tue Mar 26, 2024 06:57 | en

offsite link Failure to assist a people in danger of genocide, by Hassan Hamadé Tue Mar 26, 2024 06:32 | en

offsite link Yugoslavia March 24, 1999 The Founding War of the New Nato, by Manlio Dinucci Sun Mar 24, 2024 05:15 | en

offsite link France opposes Russian Korean-style peace project in Ukraine Sat Mar 23, 2024 11:11 | en

offsite link Voltaire, International Newsletter N°79 Fri Mar 22, 2024 11:40 | en

Voltaire Network >>

...I am happy

category cork | miscellaneous | opinion/analysis author Saturday March 05, 2016 11:30author by Niamh Ui Thuama - Rebel City Writers Report this post to the editors

The following was submitted to us by a reader of our blog, and a first time writer. Though it is somewhat different to the usual Rebel City posts it is nonetheless a relevant and poignant piece addressing a widespread and often overlooked problem – the negative effects on your mental health due to personal unfulfillment. Thank you to the writer, and keep up the good work.

What makes you happy when you finish a long hard day at work? Is it finally putting your feet up on the couch, to have a glass of wine maybe watch a few shows before going to bed? Is it spending some time with your loved ones? Is it ordering a take-away and watching a movie? Is it going out with your friends/family for a few drinks or to see a movie? Whatever it is I am certain it’s not the idea of getting back up in 8 hours time to re-live the previous 10 hours spent in work.

I always thought that I loved to work and loved the idea that I was succedding in my position and that I was a valuable member of the team. I would wake at 7.10am, get dressed, kiss my children goodbye as they slept in their beds, get the 7.45am bus, arrive in work for 8.10am.

At work my home life was never mentioned, it did not co-exist with the reality I felt while working with individuals who were equally as career driven as me but without the husband and two kids. However the opposite was of my home life. After arriving home for approx 7pm, my whole day had involved work and I could not get it out of my mind. So after 45minutes I put my children to bed at 7.45pm. I might sit on the couch, my feet pulsing with tiredness, watch a show with my husband, and stay up until possible 10pm. Go to bed with a mind racing of fresh ideas I had for work in the morning, and find it difficult to sleep. Only to arise and repeat the process.

On an average day I was left with three hours of leisure time that I was too tired to enjoy. I had split days off so I was rarely gaurenteed two days together. I also done one 12 hour shift a week which increased my working hours to 52 hours a week. Add the 5 hours travel time that’s 57 hours, plus the time it takes you to prepare yourself, your kids and your homelife. In busy periods I had worked up to 100 hours before a day off.

My relationship with my husband/kids/friends/family was strained as we never had time for each other. But more worryingly I lost myself. I could not be a good mother, a good wife/lover, a good friend, a good daughter etc. Some of my best friends had become the career-driven work colleuges who did not have the responsibility of the homelife that I had. I had quit all the activities I loved to do because even on the rare occastion that I had free time, and the energy to do it, I would feel guilty that that was quality time I could be spending with my children.

I went back part-time work due to financial circumstances when my husband went to college to further himself in his career. We lost the flexibility of his job meaning we would have to rely fully on childcare where we were previously only dependant on it twice a week. The first few months of working part time were extremely difficult. In work I no longer had the level of responsibility I once had. I was watching people being promoted to positions I knew I would have had, had I remained full time. I began to see my opinions and ideas not being taken into account and felt less valued in the team. I realised that being out of the loop meant that my work friends and I did not have as much in common as I initially thought.

My home life was worse. I had never had so much time to myself in my life and I honestly did not know what to do. I would drive out to a shopping center and be in and out of all the shops in 20 minutes. I didn’t have the leisure of money to spend and assumed it was my lack of spending money that made going to shopping centers boring. I began to watch alot of day time tv. I was not use to cleaning a house, doing washing, making daily dinners or taking pride in my home and the thought of becoming someone who done this every day honestly depressed me and made me want to return to full time employment.

On top of all of this I also found myself in unfimiliar territory. I was poor. We knew we were going to spend a few years scrapping by to ensure we would have a better quality of life in the future but it was not something I had experienced. I am extremely grateful that I did not owe any money in loans so all of my bills were basic living esssentials. I felt alot of shame in being poor. For the first time in my life I struggled to provide for my family. The temptation for my husband to quit his collage education and for us both to return to our previous lifestyle was over-whelming.

Then one day, after years of me saying I would love to return to acting, my husband had booked me into a class and dropped me outside the door. I was finally doing something that was just for me. I became alive again. Having this one little thing that was for me made such a difference in my life. That alien feeling of taking my kids to school, helping them with their homework and hearing how their day went, became enjoyable. While I still didn’t enjoy cleaning, I cared when I saw the end result. I stopped watching telly during the day and began visiting family, taking the dogs for a walk and arranging to meet friends. I began to take pride in ensuring my children had a good diet from food that I made them.

What I realised was that I was not happy when I worked full time. That I had craved for work because I thought I was valued, I was eager for praise, I longed to feel needed and I wanted to succeed in something. I wanted people to think I had done well for myself, I liked the idea of people seeing me with lots of shopping bags, in posed pictures on my rare nights out, looking trendy while all the while losing a piece of myself each and every day. I was a mental slave institutionalised from work, who had finally began to understand the joys of my freedom.

Then something else amazing happened, a friend of mine offerd me an oppertunity to teach fitness classes. I had missed my dancing days and while frightened, and knowing I would have to put a bit of work in my own physic first, I seized the opportunity. Another forgotten piece of me resurfaced. I remembered that I loved to dance more than anything and that teaching came naturally to me. Ironically she thanks me for helping her out, when really she gave me a new opportunity in discovering myself.

This amazing friend then offered me an opportunity to assist teaching drama classes and work my way to a qualification in it. While her modisity will have her say that she was expanding her buisness or that she needed help, I know differently. She did not need me for this, and others who were more qualified would have gladly taken this position. A new piece of me surfaced. I began to see my creativity, the positive effects I have on people, the leadership qualites that I envoke, my ability to control a room, my ability to have a positive impact on peoples lives. I was re-awakened with a new confidence in myself. With this I realised I have a lot more to offer this world than what I am giving. I have begun to see a road ahead. I began looking into the different possibilities that this could lead me to. Career aspects in which I would be doing something that I love and it would afford me to actually live a life.

We all have talents, abilities, strenghts and weaknesses that make up the complicated pieces of our existence. The ability to find and utalise them into a possitive aspect of your life feels more like the reason we are on the earth rather than to work, sleep, live and die. Many of us forgo our passions and our dreams in persuit of what we believe to be happiness, and too many people die with unfufilled lives and regrets. For me being able to do one thing for me slowly made me realsie that I had been transforming myself into something that is expected of me from a society that is losing its morals. I began to see there is no shame in poverty but that from it you can receive a type of freedom that having money can never give you. That is the understanding of what makes you happy.

When you have money and you feel low you tend to buy yourself a useless item to feel better. When you have no money and you’re feeling low, you tend to do something to feel better. There is a beauty in povery that allows you to feel empathy, to feel compassion, to see injustice, to see the worthlessness of money, to resist the status quo, to stand up for your rights, to want a better society, to take pride in your convictions and to want to be a better human being. I realised the only way to have good relationships, no matter who it may be with, is by looking after myself and ensuring I am happy…

…I am happy.

Niamh Uí Thuama

Related Link: https://rebelcitywriters.wordpress.com/2016/02/26/i-am-happy/

 #   Title   Author   Date 
   The Lie We Live     EU-nuch    Sun Mar 06, 2016 02:40 
   Growing Up     W. Finnerty    Sun Mar 06, 2016 09:14 
   effervescent gladness beats the finer points     Pedantic Pat    Wed Apr 06, 2016 22:09 


 
© 2001-2024 Independent Media Centre Ireland. Unless otherwise stated by the author, all content is free for non-commercial reuse, reprint, and rebroadcast, on the net and elsewhere. Opinions are those of the contributors and are not necessarily endorsed by Independent Media Centre Ireland. Disclaimer | Privacy