"My mother's water's broke, a girl was born but a boy was celebrated." - Lynda Sheridan

dublin | gender and sexuality | news report Sunday December 10, 2006 02:37 by DaveD

LGBT Carol Service at Unitarian Church

"You see I was born back in the so-called free days of the sixties, in the front bedroom of a working class house back in Dublin. My mother's water's broke, a girl was born but a boy was celebrated. A two second glance. A decision made condemning me to a life rejection, loneliness, misunderstanding, bias, loss and rape. I don't mean rape in the sexual sense but in the sense of being forced to live a lie. That is a rape of my soul, the real me." - Talk given this evenng by Lynda Sheridan at LGBT Carol Service in the Unitarian Church

Lynda Sheridan

Hi All, my name is Lynda Sheridan. I was a transgender woman, but now I am just a woman and a lesbian. Maybe not in the way you acknowledge someone being a woman or a man but a woman nonetheless. We are all unique.

I thought long and hard about how to address you all today and what I could say to bring a meaning to you and to try and give an understanding to all of us on the margins of society. To accept ourselves first, before we reject others and I hope that all of you in one way or another will identify in one way or another with what I have to say. It can bring a lasting hope and acceptance to us and not just from others but for us to give it to each other and to understand those that don't accept us. To forgive is the greatest acceptance of ourselves and a great message for others to understand the true meaning of us and I do sincerely hope that I am not lecturing you but facilitating you all in the true meaning of love, compassion, forgiveness and acceptance.

Not just at this time of the year but throughout all of our lives regret and hate waste our time. You see I was born back in the so-called free days of the sixties, in the front bedroom of a working class house back in Dublin. My mother's water's broke, a girl was born but a boy was celebrated. A two second glance. A decision made condemning me to a life rejection, loneliness, misunderstanding, bias, loss and rape. I don't mean rape in the sexual sense but in the sense of being forced to live a lie. That is a rape of my soul, the real me.

You see I was born with gender dysphasia: a genetic female but with the biological body of a man. Confusing I know. Commonly known as transgenderism, I was and am female, but even though I was rejected by society and the Church just for saving my life by going through with my GRS [Gender Realignment Surgery] surgery. Would it have been more acceptable to kill myself instead? Some people have said yes! One person confided in me that it would have been more acceptable to their mother if they were a murderer.

We people are probably the most misunderstood in all of the marginal groups and it would be easy to loose one's belief altogether and become an atheist but I did not lose my Christianity. In many ways it strengthened it. I truly believe that all of us are the divine being and that the good in us is the God in us and the bad is the devil.
If there is in one and all a truly divine being then I don't believe that he or she made me suffer and be born the way I was. So then how surely can that be a Divine being?

No, what happened to me and others with any disability was not God's will it was man's inhumanity to man. We pollute our world with toxins and chemicals. Our greed to have it all is only destroying ourselves. Even our own toxic discrimination of each other contributes towards our marginalisation. We have to accept ourselves first before we can expect others to accept us. Forgiveness is the best thing that we can give to ourselves and others, and the hand of friendship costs nothing, it makes us grow. I could easily have been a grovelling bitter woman but I am not. I kept my dignity even when others tried to take it away. Christmas is a time of regret and sorrow for many and a joy to others. Surely this is not what was meant to be. All of us deserve happiness and in our greed we forget this.

Life is a brief moment and eternity we are told is forever, so be true to your known self for I surely have and have achieved for myself what I thought was lost forever. My dignity, my womanhood, my compassion, my forgiveness, my Christianity. To all of you that hurt me I forgive you. To those of you that dare to accept me rather than walk away or laugh I thank you. I will not let bitterness drag me down. I will rise above it and be truly alive and at peace.

Lynda Sheridan is a transsgendered woman active for many years in the area of transsgender rights. Most recently Lynda was the subject of a documentary screened on RTE1 on the 6th April this year, part of the flesh and blood series. Lynda along with others has established TENI (Transsgendered Equality Network Ireland) and a peer support group in Outhouse.

Links;
Open House: http://www.rte.ie/tv/openhouse/2004/0226/LynShe.html