A Letter to Bertie

dublin | rights, freedoms and repression | opinion/analysis Wednesday June 07, 2006 19:38 by Geoffrey Cooling. - Republican Sinn Fein

"Your tenure has also seen the collapse of the community and the breaking of extended family links wrought by the runaway property boom. But sure we are all making a few quid out of it, so we don’t see our family as much as we like and we are all disconnected from our communities to the extent that some of us don’t know who lives next door to us"

Dear Bertie,

As you approach a general election, that possibly may see the grip of your party slip on power, it must be a time to take stock. To review the fortunes of your party and the state as you guided both to this point. I would like to point out a couple of things that I hope would not slip your mind in your reverie for the success of modern Celtic Tiger Ireland.
Your tenure has seen the exposure of many political household figures, admittedly not all from your party, but mostly from your party including its’ unassailable dear leader, as venal, corrupt, money grabbing, self enriching criminals who abused their political power in the best traditions of some of the worst African states. Who by the way mostly remain unpunished in any real way by your justice system? A real high point that one. It also emerged that this corruption and the cover up of same was institutionalized and accepted as normal business practices. Not really a crime at all because sure we are politicians, looking after our fellow citizens and we need to be properly compensated for our sacrifice and toil.

We have also seen the exposure of the Guardians of the Peace, the Gardai, as surprise, some of the worst venal, corrupt, money grabbing, self enriching criminals who abused their power in the best traditions of some of the worst African states. Who by the way mostly remain unpunished by your justice system? Do you see a pattern emerging here? Funnily enough it also emerged that this corruption and cover up of same was institutionalized and accepted as normal business practices. Most definitely not a crime because we all know sure aren’t the lads looking after all their fellow citizens, protecting and serving regardless of the rule of law? Yeah, definitely a pattern emerging here mate.

Of course there was also the political blunders wrought by the negligence of the little people. I mean why didn’t somebody tell you that most of the new trucks were taller, I mean the department of transport can’t know bleeding everything, you know what I mean. And that e-voting thing, who would have known what? And then the cost of storing them mate, Jesus do them journos ever stop, I mean you got to store them somewhere right and if somebody connected to your party is willing to build a facility and charge you stupid money to use it you got to go with the devil you know, right. Then of course there was the personal assistant fiasco, everybody needs a personal assistant and spin doctor don’t they and its always better if it’s a nice bird you know, of course this has no reflection on the recruitment process. It’s all about qualifications even if they don’t have any.

We have also seen what almost amounts to a collapse of the health service despite a booming economy, the country being awash with money, the explosion of millionaires. In fact there are so many millionaires in the state now that you are a nobody unless you have at least 50 mill in the bank. But yet our health service on a daily basis seems to stagger from one crisis to another. All over the country hundreds of people lie on trolleys for extended periods of time receiving inadequate treatment because of the lack of facilities. I figure though it is probably a long time since you and your associates have spent any more time than a fleeting visit in a public hospital, so this my have slipped your attention. I feel this could be the only reason why you have not taken any real steps to alleviate the core problems here.

Of course there is also the booming drugs and crime problem and the ever increasing executions perpetrated by the drug gangs on our streets. Not too bad I suppose the drugs are keeping a large proportion of the population semi docile and it’s just crims killing crims right. Well apart from that poor girl in Coolock, a watershed that, going to lead to real change, a crackdown on the drug gangs. Oh yeah and the 14 year old that was blasted with a shotgun in Cork recently, another watershed that, going to lead to real change, a crackdown on the drugs gangs. Right enough Bertie, you have our full confidence mate, we know you and your justice system are up to it mate, when you get the problem with the bogie politicians and Gardai sorted out you will get right to it.

Your tenure has also seen the collapse of the community and the breaking of extended family links wrought by the runaway property boom. But sure we are all making a few quid out of it, so we don’t see our family as much as we like and we are all disconnected from our communities to the extent that some of us don’t know who lives next door to us. But we have the thought of our property equity to keep us warm at night. I live in a purchased local authority residence in west Dublin, I bought it a few years ago for a pittance now some young couple wants to practically bankrupt themselves with a huge mortgage to pay me 320,000 for it.

A mortgage which is their limit with the two of them working, I would hate to think what would happen to them if there was a downturn and one of them lost their job and Jesus what would they do if the recession was that bad that they were left with negative equity, but sure I know you wouldn’t let that happen Bertie, you and your mates a safe pair of hands. Apart from the corruption and the political blunders and the waste of tax payers money and the health service and the breakdown of community and the insane property market and the explosion in crime we know you can look after us mate.

I was going to say sure we’ll leave it at that; it’s not your fault mate. No point in you feeling shame for all that stuff. But then I wondered, do you feel shame Bertie? Does your party feel shame? Shame does not appear to be part of the make up of political animals, a bit like psychopaths, or is that sociopaths. Well whatever, we know you are a safe pair of hands mate, salt of the earth, doing your best.

Geoffrey Cooling.