Independent Media Centre Ireland

the Minister,s magic new suit.

category international | consumer issues | opinion/analysis author Saturday November 13, 2004 19:34author by john mcdermott - www.soldiersofdestiny.orgauthor email jmcd44 at yahoo dot comauthor address Leinster House,Dublinauthor phone unlisted

you can fool some of the people all of the time...

Minister Martin O,Donoghue denounces those who promulgate Ireland as a rip off country-or Fianna Fail as a rip-off government..

November 2004,the Irish Minister for Arts, Sports, and Tourism, Mr Martin O,Donoghue appeared stark naked before a gathering of personalities assembled for the opening of a 25 million euro,venture called The Brehon Hotel,owned by some of his country cuzzins Patrick O,Donoghue and family.Patrick is also director of "Failte Ireland" the state sponsored body that spends upwards of 50 million Euros a year ,of taxpayers money,enticing wealthy golf players to come and visit the numerous newly builtGolf/hotel complexes built by Friends Of Fianna Fail,that circumscribe the coastline,and hinterlands of the Emerald Isle.
At the gathering he announced that the Myth of " Rip-Off Ireland",was no longer to be spoken of because the news was spreading and endangering our tourist industry.For years visitors to Ireland used to be mugged on the streets,robbed of their money and possessions and their car set on fire,stolen or vandalized.When the Continental/German newspapers fanally got around to declaring Ireland a "no-go" area for prudent tourists who had no martial arts skills the police were requested to send a few of their scarce numbers out on to the streets of Dublin and elswhere to look for the culprits.
Todays headache is a trifle different.The heroin addicts are presumably,reformed and happy little prosperous celtic tigers selling hamburgers or whatever to the tourists instead of breaking into foreign registered campervans.The statistical data office of the European Community,has been instructed to remove Irelands name from the head of the new muggers list,when it replaced Finland as Europe,s most expensive holiday destination.It was not to be listed in any statistics-anywhere! This would solve the problem.The nouveau muggers, own hotels and golf courses.!
Most of these luxury hotels ,which recieve huge subsidies to build new swimming pools and leisure complexes etc-all financed with taxpayers money-never pay a penny in tax.Those that are not owned by an offshore family trust,use creative accounting or retention of profits within the business for further expansion,or similiar stratagems to avoid the problems that salaried workers have with a government pilfered wage packet every month .
As most of those employed in the industry today are indentured slave labourers/cleaners/maids from Latvia or the Phillipines,their paltry wages benefit the exchequer hardly at all.
There was outcry and horror however,when Mr O,Donoghue exposed himself before the elite gathering .Ladies fled from the room at the sight of this Soldier of Destiny,s worthy manhood.The incident was the result of a scam which had been perpetrated earlier in the week by a prestigious,and world famous,bespoke tailor,named Hans Christian Anderson.He arrived in Ireland,and visited Leinster House to measure Mr O,Donoghue for a new suit of clothes.He informed him that he was in possession of the finest suit ever made-and further declared that it was, incredibly, an invisible suit.!
When he went through the motions of dressing Mr O,Donoghue for a first fitting,before the assembled Cabinet Ministers,Press Gallery and spectators,the clever taylor declared it to be the best,most expensive suit he ever made with threads of gold,and cloth of the finest silk,and such like.Naturally the Taoiseach Bertie Ahern,not wishing to appear a fool,admired the cut and style.His entire Cabinet nodded their approval in like manner ,and all the people,not wishing to appear idiots, declared they had never seen anything like it for splendour and workmanship.Likewise the people on the streets,and everywhere Martin went admired it profusely,having already heard of the wonderful suit through the media,and everyone they had spoken to-word had spread so fast throughout the country.
One little boy,the son of the hotelier however had been abroad,and only returned on the night of the hotel opening.When he saw Martin cross the stage to address the assembled multitudes he was aghast..horrified.He shouted loudly "The Minister is naked-he is stark naked.!" Suddenly the rest of the crowd realized it too.There was pandemonium.Ladies covered their faces and scrambled for the exits.Chaos ruled.One of the Ministers bodyguards threw an overcoat over him to shield his nakedness from the cameras flashing in the press gallery.
The following day Fianna Fail issued a press release,admitting that while they had been deceived,the tailors bill had not yet been fully paid by the exchequer,and a substantial amount of taxpayers money had been saved during the period when Martin had been going around undressed and just as Marliyn Monroe,s body had been found; the nude.! courtesy of, the website thats got the beef!

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