High-priest Cu Cullen wants to dig up Hill of tara!
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Sunday January 11, 2004 16:46 by Mick O'Toole - Save Tara/Skreen Valley Campaign savetaraskreen at yahoo dot com
Lordship of Motorways to be handed over to Irish Trolls
From the Newswire: The self-described ‘Soldier of Destiny’, Waterford property developer Martin Cu Cullen (aka ‘Cu Cullen’) has big plans for himself and the Hill of Tara, which lies disgracefully underdeveloped in County Meath. Soon he will build a 680 million euro motorway, and then they will come. They will know. “Toilets, for boys and girls, videos, sweeties, parking lot attendants, contracts, sub-contracts, burgers, hotels…you name it, we got it!” howls Cu Cullen gleefully.
Is this guy for real? Oh yes. This is no accident of fate, but the culmination of a life-long campaign, hatched by Cu Cullen when a youth, after he ate some old tuna fish and learned that the Ark of the Covenant was buried at Tara. He headed straight for politics as a means of using OPPM (other peoples public money) to achieve his divinely appointed destiny. And now he has mighty powers. Planning appeals are made to disappear, into thin air. New ones appear, just as magically and ‘Hypresto!’ they are passed. Money seems to flow in from bottomless wells in all directions for The Party. And everybody wants to take his picture!
Cleverly disguised as the Minister for the Environment and Heritage he has assembled a boatload of spanking new road building machinery, which is now being tested out on his other pet road 31 million project in Waterford. “The town has never been the same since Henry II took off with Strongbow, never to return. We are thinking of naming the motorway after him. He would be so proud of us.” Gone are the days of hitching a lift up the dark old Dublin road. “Welcome to Cullen Country!” Soon greater things will come, given the right campaign fund for his own coven of druid spin-doctors, tarot readers, bible-translators as well as experts in construction Yiddish, Hebrew and Old-Irish.
Key to the crafty scheme is his decision to hand over motorway lordship to his arch-allies, Irish Trolls, who will make hundreds of millions in profits. Dozens of troll booths are being erected in the middle of all traffic black spots, with armies of cars and lorries lining up to pay, and pay and pay, OR ELSE! Small teams of strike-force laser drones will harry motorists as they reach third gear, and bilk millions more. Even the clampers will be out in force. Genius.
FULL TEXT OF ORIGINAL NEWSWIRE CONTRIBUTION
Developer high-priest wants to dig up Hill of Tara!
Whispers are whispering up in Meath.
“Could it be? Has he prophetically returned, like the prophecies prophesized?”
The self-described ‘Soldier of Destiny’, Waterford property developer Martin Cu Cullen (aka ‘Cu Cullen’) has big plans for himself and the Hill of Tara, which lies disgracefully underdeveloped in County Meath. Soon he will build a 680 million euro motorway, and then they will come. They will know.
“Toilets, for boys and girls, videos, sweeties, parking lot attendants, contracts, sub-contracts, burgers, hotels…you name it, we got it!” howls Cu Cullen gleefully.
Is this guy for real? Oh yes. This is no accident of fate, but the culmination of a life-long campaign, hatched by Cu Cullen when a youth, after he ate some old tuna fish and learned that the Ark of the Covenant was buried at Tara. He headed straight for politics as a means of using OPPM (other peoples public money) to achieve his divinely appointed destiny.
And now he has mighty powers. Planning appeals are made to disappear, into thin air. New ones appear, just as magically and ‘Hypresto!’ they are passed. Money seems to flow in from bottomless wells in all directions for The Party. And everybody wants to take his picture!
Cleverly disguised as the Minister for the Environment and Heritage he has assembled a boatload of spanking new road building machinery, which is now being tested out on his other pet road 31 million project in Waterford. “The town has never been the same since Henry II took off with Strongbow, never to return. We are thinking of naming the motorway after him. He would be so proud of us.”
Gone are the days of hitching a lift up the dark old Dublin road. “Welcome to Cullen Country!” Soon greater things will come, given the right campaign fund for his own coven of druid spin-doctors, tarot readers, bible-translators as well as experts in construction Yiddish, Hebrew and Old-Irish.
Key to the crafty scheme is his decision to hand over motorway lordship to his arch-allies, Irish Trolls, who will make hundreds of millions in profits. Dozens of troll booths are being erected in the middle of all traffic black spots, with armies of cars and lorries lining up to pay, and pay and pay, OR ELSE! Small teams of strike-force laser drones will harry motorists as they reach third gear, and bilk millions more. Even the clampers will be out in force. Genius.
This is His Time. The appointment book overflowing with lunch appointments, with the many wanting to donate to this bold holy crusade. And all up and down the side of the motorways the land prices just keep rising, and everything keeps growing and growing. Magic “Raiding the Pension Fund though, that’s the best one of all…ehm.”
Secret Government documents, however, obtained through Liberation of Information by Remuneration, reveal that Cu Cullen, DID NOT participate in the original planning process for the Hill of Tara, commissioned by the Fir Bolgs and the Tuatha de Danann. Nor has he sought the consent of King Laoghaire or Saint Patrick! This, combined with the likely damage to fairy trees and the fact that he did not give his wife his ticket to Newgrange for the Solstice will no doubt lead to certain damnation.
Unless, that is, Cu Cullen can find the Ark of the Covenant first. Recently, a huge temple was discovered under the hill, by Government archaeologists. This has driven him to greater extremes in order to get his hands on it, demolishing everyone in his path. First to fall to his (small, but) might sword was the cursed wicked Duchass of Heritage. “Bitch don’t put out anyway.” Next, An Trashcan. “That sniveling snotty Dublin 4 landlord can eat my grits. I’m never buying him another bicycle again!”
Such is the malice of Martin. Ice cold, he is now busy shredding all existing copies of ‘National Monuments, Acts 1 to 5: ‘Heritage’, Act 1, and any other boring old plays that stand between himself and his Stone of Destiny. For is he not Ireland’s finest shining new Soldier of Destiny riding his Black chariot down the glimmering new super highway that is Ireland in the 21st century?
“No ridin’ around on asses and carts like Mary for me. Can you imagine what they’d think of me?”
Tune in for more next week, as Marty challenges the proud Fine Gael to an arm-wrestling competition.
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Comments (7 of 7)
Jump To Comment: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7The Balearics as readers might know are an archipelago of three islands: Mallorca, Minorca and Ibiza. They speak Catalan and are popular destinations with tourists of varying hues.
Anyway, euro-speculation is at it's worse on these islands, the freedom of capital has allowed all the pretty "mesa" farm villas to be bought up by mostly German or British origin fellow Europeans. One of the most well-known of recent arrivals being the German supermodel Claudia Schiffer. Anyway, corruption trials and stuff aside, the usual arguments about "private beaches" and so and on, the natives of these islands mostly live and work in Barcelona. The economy of their home being soley touristic and in any case controlled by people who well seem foreign. And they are most upset at the news that a neolithic site, of the type found throughout the western Mediterranean and called "nurigacci" in Sardinia, was found by a local politician and wealthy land re-developer to be in the "wrong place".
(It obscured the view from his newly built villa).
So... He moved it.
Fancy that taraskryne types, and Castleminders and Glen of the Downes, all of ye-
Think about it a while, the pile of neolithic stones had happily stood on the hillside for oh a few thousand years of progress, through Carthage, through Rome, through Aragon, through even Franco's start on Tourist villages, only to be "moved" a few metres aout of the view by a popular and forward looking European version of the slimey little rascals you know and loathe in Ireland.
On a Monday morning.That was brilliant! You rarely see any wit& humour displayed on indymedia.But boy that was the exception.Keep it up Mick O toole
And Cu Cullen stood on the Hill of Tara,..waving the Royal Seal of "An Bord Pleanala".And a great cry arose from his kinsmen as he triumphantly announced the plans for a new road which would enrich them immesureably..and open the Kingdom of Royal Meath and its hinterland to the commuting classes from Baile Atha Cliath.
The rich farmers drooled at the mouth ..thinking of the spoils to be won from compulsory land purchase at 50,000euros an acre...and the new one off houses to be built and sold ,at great profit.Why grow cabbages or feed cattle any more?Great wealth was their entitlement,..their destiny.They cried out"Hail Cu Cullen! Hail Bertie! we who are about to grow rich salute you."And the Baron councillors of Royal Meath from whose nostrils the stench of corruption issued and whose hearts were emboldened through years of contempt for orderly planning laws,-all cried the louder with one voice;"We are the invincible soldiers of destiny.We trample on the commoners wishes.. and the graves of kings "!!
Mighty man - powerful stuff. 'More please' the crowd roars. Indymedia is improving all the time and this spells a new cornerstone - phew, finally some humour!!!
Little People won't sell woods because of Cu Cullen's 'record'
WICKLOW county councillors are resisting the sale of Coolattin Woods to the Department of the Environment because of "the questionable heritage record" of Environment Minister Martin Cullen.
They are demanding that Mr Cullen guarantees the future of the 163 acres of oak woodlands as an historic national amenity on a par with the Burren.
A proposal to transfer the woods to the Department was deferred at yesterday's council meeting until the minister gave undertakings.
Councillors are also puzzled by the buying price of €388,000 for Coolattin, which they say would hardly buy a four-bedroomed house in Wicklow town at the moment.
Coolattin Woods was acquired by Wicklow Co Council in the late 1980s, at the insistence of then Taoiseach Charles Haughey, as an amenity of national importance.
The woods were being commercially exploited at the time, with each oak tree numbered for felling, before the Haughey intervention.
Councillor Deirdre de Burca (Green) said it would be irresponsible to dispose of Coolattin to the current minister without knowing how he intended to preserve the amenity. "There is a total lack of confidence in Minister Cullen on heritage issues. His track record here leaves a lot to be desired."
Cllr Pat Doran (FF), an original campaigner for the preservation of the woods, said nothing should be rubber-stamped until the woodlands' future was secured.
Cllr Liam Kavanagh (Lab) asked how 153 acres of woodlands were worth only the price of an average house in Wicklow town, and Cllr Nicky Kelly (Lab) said Coolattin was being sold for nothing.
Ken Whelan
I must be missing out on something here.Transferring the title of these woods from local council(fFanna Fail) charge-to Head Office ,in Fianna Fail (Cu Cullen)must have some sinster motivation. Would "An Taisce" not be prepared to accept their stewardship on behalf of the people of Ireland?(or some similar organization.)Handing them to Cu Cullen is like putting Bonnie and Clyde in charge of the local bank!
They are likely to appear on the "Wicklow Independent"in coming years for sale as'highly desireable sites in a scenic wooded location,suitable for "one-off "Fianna Fail style bungalows.Fully rezoned and ready to build"Contact your local Fianna Fail-connected speculator,before its too late!.
building a motorway thru the boyne is like building a motorway thru the pyramids.
there are 100 of sites uncovered in the boyne valley which are of great value to learning about our past and who we are, and this would destroy a sanctuary of the most ancient and historically important part of Ireland.
If this guy calls himself an irish nationalist, he must be joking. he'd rather upearth one of our nations treasures than to preserve and do proper archaelogical expeditions to discover the hidden gems. well, if Newgrange was discovered by accident, god knows how many sites there are out there!
and wouldn't it be more sense to preserve the area, and then market it for tourists?