The Sunday Papers "Brainy edition"
national |
history and heritage |
opinion/analysis 
Sunday June 04, 2006 20:19
by iosaf mac diarmada
It has been long observed that people for some reason on their non-banking days readily absorb shite about Dangerous Places, Famous People, Sensible Saving Options, Holidays, Interesting facts, Sport results, Media, gardening and health as well looking ahead at “democratic evolution” and looking back at "how history was made".
Very special & very short edition this one, if you're reading this in Ireland or are one of the Irish Diasporia -
Congratulations!
You are now one of the Establishment, in the period from the 23rd of May to the 2nd of June all the Irish people joined ranks & played their part to be the Regime. We are all Brainy. I am thus giving you all tips today - so you can go on being "Brainy".
Today is the 4th of the 6th month 2006 common era. In the Christian tradition its Pentacost day when the 12 apostles got really brainy and polyglot - we mark this wonder by sending our kids to be slapped in the face by the local bishop, confirmed in the faith and then on a round of the neighbours and relations to collect money.
* Being Brainy requires exercising your Brain. Try sudoko you'll find these puzzles in your newspapers!
or if you don't like newspapers there's a site here :-
http://www.websudoku.com/
* Try crosswords! Start with the easy clues, use a dictionary and then work your way up to the cryptic.
http://www.crossword-puzzles.co.uk/
here's another great site of puzzles designed to help people with mushy brains -
http://www.aarp.org/fun/puzzles/
* Learn a language, Borges quite famously learnt Japanese at 90 years of age, he was very brainy, won a Nobel prize & never really got out enough.
* Read. Reading is great. It also helps your neural nets and synapsis if you read "out loud". Don't worry about the neighbours, turn the TV up really loud and they won't hear you.
* Don't take choline based smart drugs. These are illegal.
* wear a big hat & give people the impression your head is huge - It worked for Imanuel Kant.
* use big words. keep a collection of big words and stick them to your fridge. try finding out how they're pronounced as well, so you don't go mispronouncing them like Michael Mc dowell did with "predation".
* avoid jargon words like "predation".
* go to "brainy sites"
http://www.brainyhistory.com/
http://www.brainyhistory.com/
* Have a kid & make it brainier than you are.
http://www.brainy-child.com/
* keep a record of what happened before you joined forces & closed ranks with the Irish establishment & Irish regime ( I called it the "endgame puzzle" )
http://www.indymedia.ie/article/71025#comment150338
Comments (4 of 4)
Jump To Comment: 1 2 3 4these are the laws which made us all proud & smug.
http://www.oireachtas.ie/viewdoc.asp?DocID=5771
http://www.oireachtas.ie/viewdoc.asp?DocID=5772
Don't worry about it Foreigners!
You can be brainy too.
* Learn the name of the Irish Attorney General.
* Remind your new found Irish pals as you meet them on holidays eager for a good time : that the "Confirmation" ritual is not just about the brainy extraction of cash from relatives and neighbours - its the Catholic "coming of age".
* Remind everyone that the Irish people didn't really assemble all their abuse victims in every hamlet, village and town to put flowers on the railings.
* Don't forget that there really was no great and unprecendented closing of ranks, rather to the contrary one very brainy man carried the "No!" into the official record, & the establishment being medium to upper intermediate "brainy" has by now learnt that when we want - we can hurt them.
* Remember to remind people in the future that one big word "cunnilingus" wasn't given its first mention in the Irish lower chamber.
* Wear glasses. [Now there's a lot of debate over which type of glasses to wear to really look "brainy", probably bifocals or reading glasses are the way to go, avoid sunglasses just like fake tan, that attempt to seem "brainy" rarely comes off.]
* Grow a beard. & learn how to stroke it. [This really helps regardless of whether your man or a woman, no person with a beard who has learnt how to stroke it can ever really be thought a moron.]
I hope one of the other brainy people will add to the list. Coz its not good enough just thinking yourself brainy - you need peer-support.
They just forgot to count the women.
the usual bullshit, maybe the women apostles were too busy washing and drying
the feet of the men to be counted, or didn't jesus do that himself,
though I am not sure he used his hair, maybe his beard?
A whole lot of nasty beard rash images coming to mind, now,
thus I will stop lest indymedia is accused of blasphemy as well as rampant undiluted
sexism .
Phoebe of Cenchreae(diakonos)
Junia.
Eudonina.
Prisca.
Thecla of Iconium.
4 daughters of Philip.
Joanna, Susanna, Salome.
Mary of Magdala -'The Apostle of Apostles'
Sources: Kung (google him, Hans kung)
E Schlussler Fiorenza : In Memory of her.
* When Mc Dowell wants "Yes to mean No"
national | rights and freedoms | news report Wednesday May 24, 2006 20:59 by Oliver Cromwell, the Lord High Protector
http://www.indymedia.ie/article/76272
* Physiognomy.
national | elections | opinion/analysis Monday May 29, 2006 23:37 by the planter's daughter
http://www.indymedia.ie/article/76338
* Notes on A Scandal
national | crime and justice | opinion/analysis Tuesday May 30, 2006 23:28 by Rt. Hon. Dr. O as if
http://www.indymedia.ie/article/76358
* Laissez- Faire
national | rights and freedoms | news report Wednesday May 31, 2006 11:28 by Chris Murray - The Unmanageables
http://www.indymedia.ie/article/76365
* Mc Dowell's Double Whammy.
national | rights and freedoms | news report Thursday June 01, 2006 10:32 by Chris Murray - The Unmanageables
http://www.indymedia.ie/article/76381
* Fellatio and section 5
national | rights and freedoms | news report Friday June 02, 2006 13:38 by chris murray - the unmanageables
http://www.indymedia.ie/article/76407
* Gender Equality & Progressive European Democracy
international | rights and freedoms | news report Friday June 02, 2006 17:33 by Oliver Cromwell, the Lord High Protector
http://www.indymedia.ie/article/76413
There were also other related news-stories & comment overspill :
http://www.indymedia.ie/article/76261 http://www.indymedia.ie/article/76290 http://www.indymedia.ie/article/76291http://www.indymed...76331
Goosey Goosey Gander where shall I wander,
Upstairs, downstairs and in my lady's chamber
There I met an old man who wouldn't say his prayers,
I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs.
(popular rhyme)
"Una donna a quindici anni
Dče saper ogni gran moda,
Dove il diavolo ha la coda,
Cosa č bene e mal cos'č.
Dče saper le maliziette"
Mozart - Cosi Fan Tutti.
The poisoned chalice has been passed to the next government, & by now you might as well know, your place in the establishment is just about to dissolve 6 wilt like flowers left on court railings.
Take your strong opinion, shocking language, blasphemous references to historical fact with you and get back to being skangers, spides & plebs for Tuesday morning.
But do note - that the period 23/5/06 - 2/6/06 will prove a test of your braininess within the first 18 months of the next government, if you're still interested in that sort of thing.
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