News report on non-terrorism
Non-terrorists last night claimed responsibility for launching a missile strike at a wedding party in the troubled city of Fallujah, which is located in the liberated country of Iraq. Dr. Ahmed Saeed said his hospital in Fallujah received 13 dead, including the groom, and 17 wounded, including the bride. He said most of the injured were female relatives of the groom who were staying at the house after the wedding celebration. The dead also included a father and his six sons.
The non-terrorist organisation, known as the US Army, called a press conference to celebrate the non-murders (a spokesman joked ‘Hey, somebody may as well celebrate something about this wedding!’) and acknowledged they bombed the wedding party but said that the dead and injured couldn’t have been innocent civilians as their bombings are ‘surgical strikes’ which kill only ‘bad guys’. The spokesman, who was wearing a badge inscribed with the legend ‘They only hate us for our freedoms’, then, without a hint of irony, stated to journalists that the purpose of these ‘surgical’ strikes by the US Army against Iraqis is to battle ‘foreign fighters in the country’. When the non-terrorist was asked whether it would be considered terrorism if Al’Qaeda fired missiles into weddings in America he replied ‘Of course it would because terrorism is only terrorism when it’s directed against us or our allies. Now shut up before I liberate you too’. He then left the press conference early, reportedly in preparation for another bout of non-murdering which is expected to take place anytime now.
The non-murdering, non-terrorist commander-in-chief of the US Army has already told the world that Jesus makes him do it.
Comments (7 of 7)
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... the opponents of the US must therefore be "terrorists" committing "murder". How true. Well done for clarifying.
please clarify your thinking on the matter, toneore.
You're reading things wrong Tone old chap. Al'Qaeda are as big a bunch of non-murderers and non-terrorists as the US Army.
Hey, Noride - seeing as you insist on referring to the IDF as NAZI's because they kill kids, will you extend the same courtesy to the IRA which blew Tim Parry & Jonathan Ball to shit?
20,000 civilians were "murdered" by allied bombing in the pre-invasion bombing of Normandy prior to D-Day...I suppose the US & UK shd have stayed at home...
I have to love this moral posturing form a 24 year old who thinks that that Mick Collins shd have kept on fighting in 1921 and that Germany shd have been handed over to the Jews in 1945...ya need adose of reality pills, son....
I compere the IDF to Nazis as they are the armed wing of a state which is built on the belief of a master race, not simply because they murder. Sorry, non-murder. I can't seem to find anything in the IRA's thinking which is similar so I don't think they really play in the same ballpark.
Anyway, I'm not engaging in moral posturing as I'm simply reporting the truth. Firing missiles into a wedding is not murder when the US Army does it. Don't you agree?
The IRA committed murder in Warrington but when did you start to worry about murdered children? Oh shit, I nearly forgot myself there by thinking blowing up a wedding or a family home was murder but then I forgot it's really non-murder because the goodies do it. Please forgive me, I do get confused sometimes with this bloody war and all.
Maybe when I reach your age I'll be as wise as you and will be able to see more clearly as to why murder is non-murder and why terrorism is non-terrorism. Until then my morality scoffing friend.
Or at least that's what they think. The people in power there are completely depraved and yet they actually do belive their own shit.
If this happened in the US, the rest of the world would have it force fed down their throats and Bertie Ahern would call a national day of mourning.
What a lot of people,. particulary in the USA, but also very much here too and elsewhere, who have made the purposeful decison to switch off and cop out, is that they are turning their back on their own humanity.
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