the onion tells it like it is (again)
national |
miscellaneous |
news report 
Thursday April 10, 2003 04:02
by hunter
RUMAILAH OIL FIELDS, IRAQ—The U.S. continued to make progress in its fight against totalitarianism Tuesday, when 137 more oil wells were liberated for democracy. This is satire - or is it? It's funny how comedy and truth can overlap sometimes
"For decades, these oil wells have suffered untold misery under Saddam Hussein's tyrannical rule," said U.S. Commander General Tommy Franks, speaking from southern Iraq's Rumailah oil fields, the site of the liberation. "With this victory, these long-oppressed wells will soon pump their first barrels of crude as free and equal wells in the global petroleum marketplace. They will join the ranks of the world's liberated oil wells, enjoying the same rights as their democratic brethren around the globe."
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