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the onion tells it like it is (again)

category national | miscellaneous | news report author Thursday April 10, 2003 04:02author by hunter

RUMAILAH OIL FIELDS, IRAQ—The U.S. continued to make progress in its fight against totalitarianism Tuesday, when 137 more oil wells were liberated for democracy. This is satire - or is it? It's funny how comedy and truth can overlap sometimes

"For decades, these oil wells have suffered untold misery under Saddam Hussein's tyrannical rule," said U.S. Commander General Tommy Franks, speaking from southern Iraq's Rumailah oil fields, the site of the liberation. "With this victory, these long-oppressed wells will soon pump their first barrels of crude as free and equal wells in the global petroleum marketplace. They will join the ranks of the world's liberated oil wells, enjoying the same rights as their democratic brethren around the globe."

read the rest of this at

http://www.theonion.com/onion3913/oil_wells_liberated.html

Related Link: http://www.theonion.com/onion3913/oil_wells_liberated.html

Comments (3 of 3)

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yada yada yada!
author by Damienpublication date Thu Apr 10, 2003 10:23author address author phone

The dogs on the street know this wars about oil and you're acting like its some kind of conspiracy?! Like you're somehow special because you 'know whats really going on'.
Even if the America planned to steal the oil (but they wont they pay for it, look at Saudi Arabia) it still would'nt change the moral outcome of this war which is a regime overthrown. To oppose the war on the grounds of imperialism, is by logical implication, to prolong the rule of a dictator even if those are you're beliefs, it would be the direct result if they had been listened to.

How would not going to war increased peace and justice in Iraq?

Super double secret
author by Glen Moranpublication date Thu Apr 10, 2003 11:47author address author phone

I read the post a few times, I didn't notice any conspiracy revealing in there, you sure you're not using the usual "you're stoopid" pro war argument by mistake?

damien - i wonder do you even know what the onion is?
author by hunterpublication date Thu Apr 10, 2003 18:33author address author phone

its a satirical magazine - that's right, SATIRE, as in irony and sarcasm. but maybe given your obvious american ideological alignment, you don't understand satire either.

peace and justice in Iraq - now thats a laugh. the use of DU in Gulf War I the failure of the US to support the Shia uprisings in 91, ten years of brutal sanctions - described by John Pilger as a 'medieval seige', constant bombing in the 'no fly zones, eight days of airstrikes on Baghdad, then war, cluster bombs, tomahawks, bombed market places, checkpoint murders, targetting journalists, hostipals overflowing with casualties, and now the occupation which will not be democratic, refusal to allow the Kurds to take Kirkuk, the backing of thieves malitia's in Najaf and Baghdad (journalist on rte this morning said that she was threatened by one such militia man that he could shoot her because she wasn't embedded) and of course the upcoming rape of the oil. yeee haaw, i love peace and justice don't you?

http://www.indymedia.ie/article/42293

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