Weapons of Mass Destruction in Baghdad

national | miscellaneous | news report Wednesday December 25, 2002 16:19 by Hans Blix - UN

The evidence.

In a little church just off the Mother of All Alleys in downtown Baghdad is clear proof of Saddams weapons program. Inside the Church of St Rufus the Dog Walker is a golden cookie jar with wafers and cheap wine. These a precursors of flesh and blood. And not just any flesh and blood but that a "Supreme Being". Weapons inspectors have found that a man in a round collar waving the cookie jar around intoning "Dominus Vobiscum" begins the process of turning these seemingly innocent articles, hitherto permitted under the oil for food program into a deadly weapon. These dual use commodities are clear evidence of a material breach of the UN resolutions and permit only one response: Total War! Accordingly this will begin early in the new year. Go in peace and pray for me!